Thursday, October 7, 2010

O My Province, Be Not So . . .

Turns out British Columbia is getting the reputation for producing yappy oddballs here at Teacher Training. Dom was taking us through his updates before the afternoon lecture. A rather enterprising colony of small, biting ants has chosen the yoga tent as their new digs, so to speak, and Dom was letting us know that exterminators had been called for a consultation. Well, as you might expect, the word "exterminators" caused a stir. Uniquely voiced Candace asked why it was necessary to kill fellow creatures, whereupon Dom (whom I am close to worshipping) advised her to collect her pet ants and get them out of the tent, because if they were still there in the morning, the executioners were on their way. Huge laughs. Subject closed, right?
Not so. A BC student raised her hand and asked just what kind of substances the exterminators would use -- Dom raised his hand to stop her. "We're aware of the health issues. Whatever the guys are going to use to kill the ants, it'll be safe for humans." Now were we done? Not quite.
Another BC student, male this time, had a question. But first a preface. "How would you like it if you went to your friend's house for dinner and they served you your pet dog with an apple in his mouth?" Dom's expression, at first patient, became incredulous. "Sorry, what are you asking?" he said. BC Boy went on: "I'm concerned about people bringing Kleenex into the tent. Kleenex is -- I'm from British Columbia and our forests are being torn down to be made into disposable Kleenex, and --"
Dom had had enough. "No," he said. "Just -- no. We're not going to go there. Here's Doctor Jim." And off he went, and on came the Doc, to loud, relieved applause. Dr. Jim kindly explained to the ant-huggers in the audience that the extermination methods used abrasion and dehydration to give the ants a gentle farewell. Save your breath, Doc. Sigh.
From the oddball who can't remember any dialogue to the constant questions to the Ban Kleenexers, I tell you, British Columbia is not going to be a first-choice destination for many new Bikram yogis. I repeat: we're not all like that. Really.


  1. I'm glad you're showing that we are not all like the Kleenex guy!
    Great posts!

  2. As long as British Columbians continue to put the toilet paper "over" and not "under" in the powder room, I am a fan of their humor (and trees).

    First-choice destination for me still, especially since I know which border crossings have shorter lines. (Thanks for the hints Betina!)