Q: How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: You don't know, man! You weren't there! You'll never know!
For "Vietnam vet," read "Bikram Teacher Trainee." There really is no way of accurately or succinctly describing this experience. I can't predict anything here, or accuse anyone of being a yoga stereotype. I have also never been so cascaded with humanity, with sheer pleasure in the company of others. My infrequent "argh" moments are overwhelmed by moments of silent bliss. I still know why I'm here. I still know I'm not perfect, and in fact, do not ever wish to be other than I am. Jane flawed. Full of love, but flawed.
I have been informed that I've hurt a couple of people's feelings this past week. Well, it was a dungeon-dank week, full of bizarreness. I'm not close to these people, but I regret hurting their feelings anyway. It wasn't done with malice aforethought. But it's done. From their perspective I must seem like a total asshole, but . . . they're not here, and they can't really know what happens to one's brain in these circumstances. For what it's worth, though, I offer my apologies.
Back to basics for me: concentrate on that there yoga! Lock that frickin' knee. We are not at home to Mr. Despondency. Watch out, here comes Head to Knee with Stretching. So I can't tell my left from my right! Just bend the other leg, dammit.
Laughing REALLY out loud. It's so true. During the last few weeks of my training, I think I cut off communication with the outside world almost completely, because the TT experience became SO impossible to translate that I didn't even want to try. Fortunately, there are thousands of us who DO understand EVERYTHING.
ReplyDeleteJust say "other side!" but watch out for spine twisting... "left left left right left left left..." (No, really.)
Good luck Jane. I am sure it has been a very unique experience. I am not sure what you could have done to hurt anyone's feelings but know that I am endlessly entertained by you musing and you are saving me money as I can just skip TT. (I would be the one getting booted for getting angry at Himself)
ReplyDeleteOh, but LIz! I still say don't go by what I say alone -- and from what I've read of your writing, you've got the kind of brain and spirit that makes for an unforgettably fine yoga teacher. They'll prevail against the TT oddities, really they will. I think students need good teachers, so please. . . give it some thought.
ReplyDeleteAnd Juliana, thanks and a big virtual *hug* to you. Your timing is impeccable.