What we have not done to get ready to leave versus what we have done forms the ratio of 1,000:1. Today I plan to hit BCAA, the bank, Starbucks and the grocery store. At some point I have to write a speech about yoga, since I signed up to deliver it at tomorrow night's Toastmasters meeting. What was I thinking? I was thinking it would take my mind off the growing nervousness about surviving training at my advanced age.
Yesterday I had a taste of what training may be like, as I attended a seminar given by an expert Bikram trainer, Diane Ducharme. She took us through the beginner class and then came back to give a 5-hour posture clinic. There were many people in attendance, and I was surprised to note that there were men and women older than I in the studio. Some of them had flexibility that astonished us all, and I realized my own worst fear when I was called to the front to demonstrate my lotus posture, during which I could only lift both legs about two inches off the ground. Later a woman in her late 50s came up to do the same pose, and at the two-leg-lift stage, she went almost vertical. My friend Bettina was amused by my amazement at everyone being able to do that pose, as well as my other two nemeses, Tree and Toe Stand. I mean EVERYONE else could do them. Dang.
And it is at such times that I realize this training seminar will also be a valuable ego exercise -- meaning being aware of how my ego holds me back, demanding perfection or nothing, constantly comparing myself to others . . . god, how boring it all is. If the next nine weeks help me to recognize ego flares for what they are, i.e., silly wastes of energy, I will be delighted.